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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?